After extensive research, careful deliberation, and millions of dollars spent with public relations consulting groups, Revolver News has finally decided on whether or not we will capitalize the word “black” when referring to the race of people.

As you will recall, in July, The New York Times announced that it will be capitalizing “black” and keeping “white” lowercase when referring to the racial groups. Their stated reasoning is that blacks have a “shared history and identity,” and whites do not.

The Associated Press made the same decision as the New York Times.

“We agree that white people’s skin color plays into systemic inequalities and injustices, and we want our journalism to robustly explore these problems,” John Daniszewski, the AP’s vice president for standards, said in a memo to staff Monday. “But capitalizing the term white, as is done by white supremacists, risks subtly conveying legitimacy to such beliefs.” [ABC News]

Thank God we have the AP to ward off evil white supremacists with their linguistic voodoo. If you capitalize white, then it’s only a matter of time before Hitler starts shipping people off to the camps. And God knows the AP does not want that on their conscience.

Capitalizing “black” but not “white” is ultimately a political decision to bestow reverence and respect on one politically favored group, and not another. For instance, Christians show reverence by capitalizing pronouns when referring to God. In the liberal worldview, black people are just a little bit closer to God than white people.

Very soon, it seems plausible that this politically correct obsession could spread to other forms of left-wing identity. In 2024, the Democratic primary could be a race between Kamala Harris, a “straight Black Woman,” and Pete Buttigieg, a “Gay white man.” Or maybe capitalization will soon not be enough. Perhaps by 2028, the Times will be referring to President Stacey Abrams not merely as Black, but BLACK, to convey a proper tone of awe and reverence.

After painstaking deliberation and many hours of “antiracism” group therapy sessions presided over by a social worker from Portland, Revolver News is pleased to announce that we will not be indulging the ethnonarcissistic whims of a group of spoiled babies throwing a tantrum.

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