Annual Ad-Free Subscription… Join the Fight and Support Revolver Now…

Check out the new merch! — Donate…

Sign up for our email list… stay on the bleeding edge… 

Remember that 70s show Charlie’s Angels? Well, it looks like we’ve got a 2025 reboot…it could be called “Bezos’s Angels: Glam, Giggles, and 11 Minutes of Cringey Space Feminism.”

READ MORE: Trans activist who stabbed his father to death over 100 times faces ‘final destination’…

So, strap in—because the future of space travel has arrived, and apparently, it’s covered in lip gloss, giggles, and a lot of glam.

Daily Mail:

Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket had a successful trip into space Monday, but the company’s billionaire founder, Jeff Bezos, ran into turbulence while greeting the returning astronauts.

Minutes after taking an all-female crew of celebrity astronauts to space in a history-making event not seen in 60 years, Bezos was seen falling face-first into a ditch as he tried to greet his fiancée Lauren Sánchez.

Bezos, one of the first members of the Blue Origin team to arrive at the landing site, was running around, trying to find the door to the New Shepard pod, when he appeared to trip over a patch of dirt and landed face-down on the ground in an embarrassing moment for the 61-year-old.

Collin Rugg:

NEW: The all-female flight ‘crew’ aboard the Blue Origin capsule is heard screaming and giggling as they return back to Earth.

The women say was time to bring “glam” to space and they put the ‘a$$’ in astronaut.

The crew included Katy Perry, Lauren Sanchez, Gail King, Amanda Nguyen, Aisha Bowe, & Kerianne Flynn.

They were in space for 11 minutes.

Blue Origin’s latest mission wasn’t about science, innovation, or even pretending to push the limits of human achievement. Nope. It was about girl power and celebrities. Because this all-female celebrity flight crew is putting the “a$$ in astronaut.” Their words, not ours.

For a whopping eleven minutes in suborbital space—less time than it takes to get through TSA at LAX—we were treated to what sounded like a floating slumber party in the sky. Giggling, squealing, and enough PR fluff to fill a Macy’s parade balloon.

READ MORE: From Deep State beige to MAGA gold: Trump’s WH glow-up has a bigger meaning…

Yes, this was Bezos’s Angels. Only instead of stopping bad guys, they were stopping by the stratosphere for a quick selfie and a round of girly giggles.

But, in the most poetic twist of cosmic justice, Jeff himself tripped and fell while trying to sneak a peek inside the capsule window like some horny boy at a sorority mixer.

Watch:

So in the end, no, this wasn’t some historic mission for womankind. It was 11 minutes of squealing, selfies, and space-themed girl power fluff—topped off with Jeff Bezos falling on his keister. If this is the future of space travel, we might as well hand the launch codes to the cat ladies over at The View. But hey, if Earth ever needs saving, at least we’ve got Katy Perry and Gayle King standing by… as long as they don’t chip a nail during the battle.

Annual Ad-Free Subscription… Join the Fight and Support Revolver Now…

Check out the new merch! — Donate…

Sign up for our email list… stay on the bleeding edge… 

NEWSFEED — FOLLOW ON X — GAB — GETTR — TRUTH SOCIAL — BLUESKY