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Mirror, mirror on the wall, what’s the wokest train wreck of them all?

Answer: Disney’s “Snow White.” Or should we say, Snow Woke and the Seven Virtue Signals—a painfully modern, unwatchable attempt to reimagine a classic fairytale into a limp, progressive sermon with goofy-looking CGI dwarves and zero charm.

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Who didn’t see this crash and burn coming? It was as plain as the face staring back at us in the mirror:

Image

But let’s call it what it is: a $330 million faceplant on Main Street, USA. And no, not even the magic kingdom can survive that kind of ideological collapse.

The reviews are in—and they’re brutal. We’re talking a literal fairy tale bloodbath.

  • “Lazy, visually repellant.” The Independent
  • “Exhaustingly awful.” The Guardian
  • “Disney has trashed its reputation.” The Times
  • “A strange, hot mess.” – Huff Post
  • “Listless.” ScreenDaily
  • “Good enough… for TV.” Vanity Fair
  • “Film has a major identity crisis.” BBC

That wasn’t a movie. It was a progressive hostage video.

But honestly, what did anyone expect? This wasn’t a remake. This was a left-wing cultural correction—Disney’s attempt to take a sweet, innocent fairy tale and inject it with enough gender politics, historical revisionism, and girl power nonsense to make even pink-haired cat ladies roll their eyes and groan.

Let’s start with Rachel Zegler, the aggressively unlikable lead who somehow managed to turn Disney’s most beloved princess into someone smug, bitter, and stunningly dull. But let’s not pretend this all started with her. The seeds were planted with Emma Watson, who kicked off Disney’s disastrous “course correction” when she reimagined humble, book-loving Belle as an independent pseudo-feminist. Granted, her version was a lot more subtle than Zegler’s preachy take on Snow White—but that’s where the decline began.

Emma Watson gives Belle from 'Beauty and the Beast' a feminist backstory ahead of live-action version – New York Daily News

And it only got worse from there. Remember “The Little Mermaid” reboot? Yeah, the black girl playing a fair-skinned, red-headed mermaid. That was DEI wrapped in delusion.

Sewing: Halle Bailey's 'Little Mermaid' sees Black daughters rejoice

But back to Zegler, she’s the one who trashed the original Snow White classic in interviews, declared Prince Charming “a stalker,” and seemed more interested in delivering feminist TED Talks than making a magical movie.

And let’s not forget her charming little post-election meltdown after Trump trounced Kamala. Zegler took to Instagram to declare she was “speechless” and “heartbroken,” adding, “I hope Trump supporters and Trump voters and Trump himself may never know peace.” Because nothing says “leading lady material” like alienating half your potential fan base in one fell swoop.

Rachel’s a real ray of sunshine, isn’t she? And even though people were practically screaming from the rooftops for Disney to cut her loose, the studio clung to her like a wad of chewed gum under a cafeteria table—gross, useless, and stuck in the worst place imaginable. Eventually, Zegler coughed up one of the most insufferable, half-baked Instagram apologies ever posted, oozing with fake remorse and virtue-signaling so thick it should’ve come with a trigger warning. It wasn’t so much an apology as it was an awkward theater kid performing emotional charades for the camera.

Take a look:

Cleary, this snotty apology didn’t do the trick. The movie is a total flop.

From the weirdly militant empowerment script to the CGI dwarves who looked like rejected extras from an Activia commercial, this movie was doomed from the start. Disney couldn’t even decide what race—or species—the characters were supposed to be. We got a Hispanic German princess who hates romance, saddled up with seven woke bandits who look like they wandered in from an Antifa street theater production.

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While the studio was busy spinning a color wheel to balance skin tones and checking off pronouns like it was DEI Bingo Night, they forgot about little things like story, heart, and watchability.

The result was a film so bland, awkward, and desperate to prove its political correctness that it forgot to be fun. Or magical. Or even remotely coherent.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t just about one bad movie. This is what happens when corporate entertainment gets hijacked by activism. Just like everything else in America—medicine, education, even the judiciary—once it goes woke, it goes straight to hell.

In Hollywood’s case, movies stopped being magical escapes, and the artistic part morphed into painful, patronizing “cat lady lectures.” And that’s not an exaggeration—even James Carville, the baldheaded Cajun Dem whisperer, admitted the Left has a “preachy female” problem. Honestly, that was being generous. The truth is that these left-wing women sound like nagging hall monitors with a superiority complex. Women like Rachel Zegler don’t inspire—they lecture. They scold. They dictate how we should think, vote, love, and live.

And they always deliver the lecture in the same tone: smug, joyless, and without a single spark of soul. Always, always dead behind the eyes.

It’s no wonder no one wants to buy a ticket. We go to the movies to escape, not to be emotionally waterboarded by some twenty-something dip who thinks she’s smarter and more evolved than the rest of us. If we wanted a finger-wagging sermon, we’d go to brunch with an MSNBC reporter.

The result of this “Ted Talk” attitude is a box office graveyard full of preachy, unwatchable flops that feel more like punishment than entertainment. At this point, most Americans would rather chow down on a poison apple than sit through another two-hour lecture on female empowerment, climate justice, and how Prince Charming is actually a creepy stalker.

So in the end, here lies Disney’s Snow Woke—face down in the enchanted forest, poisoned by its own bloated ego and insufferable politics.

No prince. No love story. No charm. No audience.

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All that’s left is a sad little kingdom of ashes and seven confused little virtue signals wandering through the wreckage, clutching their diversity checklists and wondering why the magic never happened.

Spoiler alert: the magic choked to death on its own moral superiority.

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