Welcome back to IN THE RAW, my friends. This week I have something a little different: another combined essay and podcast. I’m thinking about following this format more often actually, because I think it works well.
I’m joined by Connor from Forge and Anvil to talk about “how boomers can redeem their generation.” Forge and Anvil is a political podcast that focuses on some of the most urgent political and cultural issues facing the West, and the United States in particular, today.
I would suggest your read Connor’s very nice essay, presented below, before you listen.
How Boomers Can Redeem Their Generation
Essay by Connor from Forge and Anvil
In an interview I did several months back with CR Wiley, Wiley commented that we would not survive the coming calamity through “beans, bullets, and bunkers”, but instead through small, high-trust communities.
This sounds obvious to some, but the reality is many people in the younger generation are facing a challenge that directly threatens the building of these communities: their aging boomer parents.
Travel back in time to before the Industrial Revolution took place and you will find families of multiple generations that stuck close by and relied upon each other for everyday life. Ideally a man would buy land, get married, have kids, and build for himself a successful farm or similar agrarian based business. He would raise his sons to be strong and know how to work beside him each day and tend the land. When the man became too old and too tired to continue working in such a physical way, he passed on his farm to his children, most of whom had already inherited a plot of land from him for a homestead of their own.
As dad and mom (now grandpa and grandma) aged, they didn’t stop working, but instead of physical work they took the role of advisors and mentored their children’s families. Grandma helped watch and raise grandchildren. She knitted clothes for growing children to wear and guided the new moms on how to love their husband and children well. Grandpa, with his greater years of experience, led his sons in how to run the farm and passed along his wisdom to the grandchildren by leading them in family worship and sharing stories of the past.
There is no unbiblical retirement plan? The 55 and up, fancy communities with their luxurious apartments and daily social events don’t exist. Their children’s home (which they helped establish) or their own house next door was their retirement home. They aged gracefully and were taken care of by their children and children’s children as their physical needs increased. An unknown caretaker making $15 an hour didn’t help them shower and do the most intimate tasks they could no longer accomplish alone. Instead these vulnerable moments were shouldered by family.
As our modern American world approaches a tipping point of some kind, one which none of us can fully comprehend or predict, many men under the age of forty are realizing they need to brace for impact.
Fortunately, men like CR Wiley have been advising us for a few years and we’ve begun to build our high-trust communities, yet the issue many are experiencing is a resistance from the previous generation to come and take their role as mentors, advisors, and caretakers to their grandchildren.
It seems apparent that boomers and even older Gen Xers do not want to let go of the American retirement dream they were sold. Despite houses being harder to buy than ever before, the boomers don’t go out of their way to help their children gain home ownership. Instead they opt to buy a large motor home to travel the country with, or they purchase lavish vacations to Hawaii, or they’ll buy a fishing boat that ends up rotting away in a three car shop full of toys that are stored away after only a handful of uses.
Many of the conservative boomers even agree that America is collapsing, but instead of moving across country to live next door to their family for mutual support, they buy ammo and emergency supply food packages that will expire long after they’re dead and gone. They will then plant their foot in the ground and demand their children move near them if community is desired regardless of whether or not their children can find decent jobs or affordable homes in their area.
It’s not just our parents or grandparents. It’s our politicians too. Currently the average of US senators is 64 years and 57.9 years in the House of Representatives. These same aging politicians have been buying votes with the credit cards of millennials and Gen Z. The math has shown us that our bloated social services can’t sustain themselves. Social security is expected to become insolvent, yet no action is taken despite many young men such as myself not planning on drawing from social security when the time comes. My last, and possibly greatest example (as this could go on and on) is the response to Covid.
15 days to stop the spread was one thing, but the data became apparent very early on that Covid was only a threat to those older than 55 or those with serious underlying health conditions. Yet instead of the older simply isolating themselves, we shutdown the country anyways due to a pandemic of fear. Schools were closed and learning was lost at an astonishing rate that students STILL haven’t recovered from nearly four years later. Proms were canceled, weddings were postponed, baby showers were conducted through zoom, and many more precious milestones were forever lost so the older generation could feel safe.
My point in writing this article is twofold.
First, if you are in a younger generation my hope is that you will feel encouraged to know that you are not alone. Sometimes sharing a frustration and having it put into words can be a powerful way to accept the hardships you’ve been dealt. After you’ve accepted your position you can move on in spite of it and build a glorious community with those who are willing to still join you.
Second, if you’re of the older generation, I hope to challenge you to think differently about what has occurred over the last few years and to take steps to course-correct. Below are some very practical ways someone from the boomer generation can begin to give a leg up to the younger generations.
Move close by:
As mentioned above, many in the younger generation are running into the problem of their boomer parents not wanting to move to be near them. As a result of our economic turmoil and political persecution of certain industries, many people have had to move in order to find opportunities for themselves and their family. If you are already established, especially if you’re retired and financially capable, you should aspire to move near your children and grandchildren in order to pour your energy and wisdom into them. Communicate with your children and ask them where they see themselves putting down roots. Then make a plan to move close by. When grown children feel they have support from family, they are more likely to have children and take societal benefitting risks.
Babysit:
This goes hand in hand with my last point. Most young parents are forced to be dual income earners. In an ideal world I believe women should be stay at home caretakers and homemakers, but many can’t just yet. As a result many children find themselves being raised by daycare and state-funded programs. I don’t have the time to go into detail here, but for now I’ll ask you to take my word that it’s been shown psychologically that children benefit significantly by being watched by an extended family member as opposed to a stranger. This will also allow you pass on your value system, make priceless memories, and grow close with your littlest loved ones.
Free rent to trusted loved ones:
As I mentioned earlier, many young people have made foolish financial decisions due to societal expectations of what the route to success looks like. Although some still need to learn the hard way through consequences, many millennials and Gen Z have already learned how critically they’ve screwed up with student loans and other horrendous financial decisions they made. You can give them an opportunity to course-correct. If you are able, offer your grown children the opportunity to live at home rent-free with the specific purpose of paying off their debts and saving up money to purchase a home or start a business. The danger here is that if you don’t do this step well, you may become a hammock instead of a safety net and you will further enable your child’s bad behavior. To avoid this, sit down with your young adult child and have an honest conversation. Get out a calculator and figure out how quickly they could pay off their debts if they had free rent and minimal living expenses. Put it on a timeline and put it in writing so that you don’t create a failure to launch. Many young people will gladly accept the gift and work hard to keep to their timeline as a way of showing their appreciation. Be sure to write out general house rules too and constantly reassess them in order to keep the peace as well as have clear expectations.
Pass on skills and stories:
Many young adults are great in the realm of soft skills (politeness, punctuality, communication, organization, etc.) but many of them are lost when it comes to technical skills. Many can’t cook or fix a car or insulate a house. Pass these skills along so your children are capable providers and protectors for your grandchildren. The same goes for family history. The more a person knows about where they came from the better they are able to understand values and remain true to their convictions. Share stories of what it was like when you grew up. Talk about your parents and grandparents. Keep their legacies alive.
Attend school board meetings, city councils, and so on:
One of the most powerful resources the older generations possess is time, and one of the biggest factors surrounding the corrosion of our political landscape is the distinct lack of time decent people have given to the public square. If we ever want to get our towns, counties, states, and country back on track then we should expect to spend at least some of our daily lives engaged in local politics. Full time working dads and busy moms do not have the time to show up at school-board or city-council meetings. In fact, many of the local governing bodies only hold meetings during weekdays, as if they hope to promote a culture of low attendance. For those who are retired or empty nesters, it is significantly less taxing to show up to these events on the regular. Be there, take notes, and keep tabs on who is waging political warfare on your value system. Then take the knowledge that you have and inform the busy loved ones in your life so they can make decent choices come election day.
Leave an inheritance:
Lastly, it is crucial that the older generation leaves an inheritance to their children and their children’s children. Hopefully you readers who may be in a position to leave behind an inheritance have already raised your children to know how to budget and handle money wisely. If so, passing along an inheritance is just another way to help your children beat the economic turmoil and make an impact long after you are gone. And remember, an inheritance does not have to be money. It can be leaving behind a healthy culture, family history, and good memories as I alluded to earlier. Either way, your goal should be to leave a legacy that lasts when your name is long forgotten.
In summary, finish the race strong. Don’t check out of the struggles of the culture and your family so you can go vacation in Florida till the end of your days. The future depends on you.
IN THE RAW 23: Forge and Anvil