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Since Part 1 of this investigation, the New York Times has been forced to backpedal on their insane and mendacious claim that Officer Sicknick was murdered by a fire extinguisher-wielding MAGA mob.

Part One — MAGA Blood Libel: Why Are They Hiding The Medical Report?

Fox News said they corrected their report. Zerohedge said they retracted it. In truth, what they did was much more cowardly, deceptive, and unethically on brand for the New York Times. They kept their screaming headline but pinned a qualifier that “new information has emerged” that “questions the initial cause of his death.”

BREAKING: “New information has emerged” that “questions the initial cause of” the geocentric system of the universe.

It’s a rhetorical trick that allows Official Doctrine to permanently sustain a publicly known lie, without ever having to concede a problematic turn in doctrinal direction.

How long can such logic be sustained? We laugh, but it took the Church 352 years (1633-1992) after Galileo’s trial to officially admit the earth revolves around the sun.

Let’s see how long it takes the New York Times.


In this critical aftermath period, consequences continue to mount for failing to correct an obviously false record. But the so-called “Paper of Record” made its craven “update” only after two Presidential impeachment trials, both of which cited the New York Times’s false report, had already ended.

The latest from Officer Sicknick’s family is a quote in this week’s Daily Mail: He wasn’t hit on the head no. We think he had a stroke, but we don’t know anything for sure… We’d love to know what happened.

It is now more than a month and a half since the highest profile casualty of the highest profile event in the world. Just two days ago, the U.S. Senate held a nearly four-hour investigation hearing. While the charge of “murder” hangs heavy in the air, you’d think the U.S. Senate would be a bit more curious than Revolver News to obtain the autopsy results, coroner’s report, you know, literally anything, in time for these hearings. But without even an official cause of death, Senators still waxed definitively on Officer Sicknick’s death “from injuries sustained at the Capitol.”

So it’s Infinite February in an endless media malpractice Groundhog’s Day: every day you wake up, you slap the alarm, hear I Got You Babe, and look out the window to watch the same lie from the New York Times traveling half the world before truth can put its shoes on.

Instead of saying “thanks for the correction,” TalkingPointsMemo and Media Matters have accused Revolver News of setting off a “Sicknick Truth” movement. The New York Times is warning its Battered Reader Syndrome audience to stop critical thinking before it’s too late. You’ll go down a rabbit hole, start thinking deeply, and become convinced by what “fringe” websites, rogue influencers, and so-called “non-authoritative” sources tell you. You’ll have a different opinion.

No, no, no, says the New York Times, that isn’t authoritarian. It’s authoritative. There’s a difference.

And you better learn that difference before “Sicknick Truth” gets added to the ever-growing list of banned narratives, symbols and search terms stacking up in sprawling, stinking “content moderation” databases and monitored by artificial intelligence crawls and tens of thousands of well-paid megaphone janitors who weirdly happen to be either direct intelligence cut-outs or adjacent to the national security state’s “democracy-building” civil society network.

When China bans talk of Tiananmen Square on their Internet, that’s authoritarian. When Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Amazon Web Services, Discord, Twitch, Shopify, Reddit, Apple, Google, and Mailchimp ban talk of an American Tiananmen, at the urging of Congress, the State Department, the incoming White House and former heads of the CIA and NSA, that’s authoritative.

So let’s be clear: This is not a Sicknick Truth series. Stop making it weird. Congress wants a “New 9/11 Commission” about 1/6, purporting to leave no stone unturned. If right out the gate, you start deplatforming and destroying civilians who point out Very Obvious Boulders Still Rightside-Up, you’re not just disgracing yourselves — You’re showing disrespect to the honor of Officer Brian Sicknick. According to reports, Sicknick joined the U.S. Capitol Police after leaving his military service disheartened by the glut of unresolved “intelligence failures” from the original 9/11 Commission

Moreover, this Revolver series focuses not on Sicknick in particular, but the Capitol siege, and in particular the role of the FBI. In doing so, we ask as Americans for the same rights and freedoms that The New York Times demands for citizens of China: a space to discuss contentious topics, free from the usual restraints of the country’s tightly controlled internet.

You won’t pressure platforms to ban Unfettered Conversations, will you, CNN, New York Times, Media Matters? You’re better than China, right?

The frantic narrative wagon-circling by authoritative 1/6 perception managers is designed to put bumper lanes on the bowling alley of America’s peer-to-peer news sharing and information ecosystems.  It’s your state-mandated, civil society-enforced Cognitive Safe Space. And the Critical Thinking Zone is for authorized personnel only.

So, do you have your clearance? Wunderbar. Here’s your classified cable:

The Steve Urkel Zone

One plausible justification for the delay of information could be that there’s an ongoing FBI investigation into Officer Sicknick’s death, so medical documents are being barred from release pending the conclusion of that investigation.

For example, on January 8, a murder probe was announced. On January 15, the FBI was probing over 30 suspects. But then on February 2, we learned the investigators have all but ruled out “murder” in any traditional sense, and that the likeliest theory by lead investigators was that Sicknick may have had a stroke, possibly induced from pepper spray, exacerbating a pre-existing medical condition

It’s been three and a half weeks since that update. The U.S. Capitol Police is shockingly immune to FOIA, so no public records can ever be secured from them unless they choose to do so voluntarily. And if the FBI is in charge, everyone should be concerned. Should anything in those medical records even slightly conflict with what little we’ve already been told, or detract from a Maximum Pressure Campaign against “Trumpism after Trump,” it could take us years to see them, if we ever do at all.

That means we’re in the Danger Zone. The Dog Ate My Evidence Zone. The Steve Urkel Zone.

At best, the FBI has spent the past four years (and frankly, much longer than that) simulating a 50-foot Steve Urkel from Family Matters, tripping over all every major investigation in the U.S. government, flubbing it, then kipping through each corruption allegation with a lovable, whoopsie “Did I Do That?

To wit, remember that whole, “We covertly surveilled (‘spying‘ was conspiracy theory, ‘covertly surveilled’ was authoritative) a sitting U.S. President, sent wiretapped informants to get dirt, gave the whole adventure a fun, zany, Rock n’ Roll name like Operation Crossfire Hurricane, then got caught, admitted it, but now still refuse to declassify all the documents?” Where are the documents?

Remember that whole, “We hatched a secret plot to send two FBI agents to ‘question’ National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, lied to both him and the public about what we were really doing, and the documents only came out three and a half years later because an independent Congressional task force forced it out of us?”

Remember that whole Mueller investigation, where for two years the former FBI Chief insinuated the sitting President was illicitly conspiring with Russia, but then we were never provided a single document until the very final report, which fizzled in a total dud, but the FBI is still preventing access to the full investigation records?

Remember the FBI falsified emails to secure their secret surveillance warrant? Remember they secretly thought the Steele dossiere was not credible, but secretly leaked it anyway? These scandals took years to discover and we don’t know their full extent.

Even the little things. Like what ever happened to Anthony Weiner’s laptop? Whoopsie!

And who was in charge of the Epstein investigation? Well of course, the FBI. And we were right back in the Steve Urkel Zone. The next thing we knew, both security cameras malfunctioned, both security guards had fallen asleep at the same time, and the prison logbook had all been falsified.

The FBI simply cannot be trusted to handle sensitive evidence, and any Republican or centrist Democrat who has not realized this by now needs to burn in their brains the “Fool Me Twice” parable and brand it somewhere sacred so they never forget.

That’s at best.

At worst, the FBI is corrupt and in desperate need of Church Committee 2.0. It is time for Republicans to start leading this charge. 

But It’s Worse Than That

The FBI was directly involved in the story of how “underprepared” the U.S. Capitol was for that fateful day, and now they are controlling the evidence, intelligence and enforcement flow of its official investigation. We are now learning that the FBI is even treating members of Congress as suspects in the MAGA riot probe and has swept up lawmakers’ phone data during investigation.

And as forthcoming installments of this series will show, the word “underprepared” may be seriously understating the issue. Indeed, the FBI may have been far more complicit than any present investigation has thus far contemplated, to the point of begging an independent probe all of its own.

So that alone stinks. 

But then you throw in the fact that questioning the FBI will land you with a charge of “conspiracy theory,” while at the same time the FBI has identified conspiracy theories, as a vague abstract concept unto itself, as a top terror threat to the national security of the country. Which leaves an absolutely terrifying TripleThink in the minds of informed citizens:

We flubbed this thing.

We’re investigating this thing.

If you challenge our investigation, you’re a terrorist.

What To Expect From The Next Installment of Revolver News’ Ongoing Investigation

So the days of delegating our Critical Thinking to the FBI are over. We are calling for a total and complete shutdown of Steve Urkel coming into our house until the representatives of our country figure out what the hell is going on.

In Part 3, you’re going to learn about the epidemic of military and law enforcement officers gone rogue at the Capitol!, a curious group called the Oath Keepers, and the metaphorical ticking time bomb of the judicial proceedings against one Thomas Caldwell.

It’s gonna be a doozy.


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